Equality revised

Since writing my last post, some friends have kindly opened my eyes to some new aspects of the issue.

Since I've become a stay at home mom, I have started writing about things I feel strongly about. One of my favorite parts of reading and writing posts is that I learn something new every time I get involved. I am a firm believer that a person should be allowed to change. For example, I call myself a reader. I bet my older sister would be surprised to hear that because when she lived at home, I was not a reader. Since she went to college I have become a reader, I read all the time and love it. People change and not only do I think its okay, I think its healthy. I have not changed my mind or opinion on the topic of equality between men and women, however I now realize that the issue goes deeper than just women receiving the priesthood.

In my last post, I encouraged the idea that having and caring for children is the female equivalent to the priesthood. Well, what about those who can't have children or are not married or those who have NO inclination toward children. To them I would like to apologize for my narrow minded words. To them I would like to say that I still firmly believe that the Lord has a plan for them and that by no means does the lack of priesthood take away from their worth. I don't have the answer to what their role is, but I can tell them to look to women in the church such as Barbara Thomson who inspired women all over the world despite her lack of husband, children, or the priesthood and to the video included in my last past by Sheri Dew. 

Another issue brought to my attention is the fact that women are not allowed in the priesthood session of conference, what harm could it do? None. It would not do any harm, however, I still don't think women should be there. Men need women to support them in their priesthood roles but its still their role. I think men being able to gather together and see others who are striving just like them to be the best they can is a beautiful picture. To think that those men can look around and see 21,700 other priesthood holders coming together to be edified, encouraged and instructed. I think women attending the priesthood session, this does not mean watching it or reading it later only attending, would be like our husbands coming to a girls night and lets be honest who really wants that? I know that not everyone would agree, but thats my opinion.

To those who struggle with the quality issues, I am sorry. Your struggle is real and I wish you luck in finding your place. I hope one day you can feel important and needed and I hope I can help you in your struggle by sharing my own testimony that there are MANY things you can do to participate in church. Through teaching, loving, and serving you do more than you can possibly imagine. I also hope that priesthood leaders throughout the church can understand your struggle and make those changes to the culture (not the doctrine) that may make you feel more comfortable.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is true and the Prophet loves each and every person on this Earth and he, through Jesus Christ will listen to your humble prayers to find peace.

"Equality"

Lately there has been so much hype about equality and women's rights. I am a strong believer that women are just as important as men. That women deserve education and rights. I believe that women can do things which men would cower even thinking of, but I also KNOW that there are things men can do that I couldn't  even think of doing! We are different, equal but different. I have never wanted to be a boy. I shrink at the prospect of having the role of a Bishop, I can barely handle my own emotions how could I hope to handle anyone else's? I am a strong independent woman who needs my husband in order to survive. I couldn't do it without him.

I get so sad when I see these women activists trying to get what they think is equality. Some of their ideas are great and I think should be implemented, but those have nothing, I repeat: NOTHING to do with the doctrine of the church. They are things such as more women writers, making a bigger deal about recognizing the young women in excellence award. Those are great ideas, implement them. Write a book. But don't protest in church. Please.

I once heard a quote which I have adopted as our family motto it goes like this: "Fair means everyone gets what he or she needs." Brandon gets 3 pancakes because thats how many he needs to get full. I only get 1. It is not equal but it is fair. The same goes for roles within the church. Brandon gets the priesthood because that is something that our Heavenly father has told us will make him, and other men, better people. They need the priesthood to enrich their souls and better themselves. Women are asked, if possible, to have and raise children. It is what we need to become better and our natures are suited to doing it.

When it comes to many things, my sisters and I are EXTREMELY different but as I get older I have found that when it matters, we have pretty similar views. Luckily for me, my sisters are amazing writers and can put into words what I can only feel. Hopefully she doesn't mind me sharing this  post she wrote about "equality" but It touched my heart and I'm grateful for her example in my life.

"I’m a “bury my head in the sand” type of girl.

If I follow politics/government/global warming, etc – I focus on it and make myself sick with worry and “what ifs”.

I can’t healthily be informed, or I go crazy.

So sometimes, I stay ignorant on purpose. I know the whole world can’t do that, and I’m grateful for the people who get involved and make real changes happen. But I can’t do it and stay sane. I worry myself into despair and illness.

When I was really little, I’d go to bed at night and I would be so afraid. Afraid of the world. Afraid of wars and fights and what the world would be like when I was older. It scared me so much I can still feel the fear I felt then.

I’d come out of bed and beg my parents to let me stay up with them, and they’d get mad and we would have this fight every single night, and I’d end up sleeping on their floor. I slept on their floor a lot. I’m sure they thought I was afraid of monsters and the boogy man and the dark, like most kids.

But I was afraid of the world and of the evil I’d already seen, through real life and movies.

I’ve heard a lot being said about the feminist movement going on the LDS world right now, and was definitely aware of the “wear pants to church” movement that happened in December of last year. I wore my girliest dress instead.

I haven’t done a ton of research into all this, because to be honest it kind of makes me sick and I don’t want to get into the hoopla of it all.

But I read an article today on the feminist movement in the LDS religion – and there are tons of groups out there with agendas ranging from better sex education to young LDS girls (that one I can get on board with) to demanding women get the priesthood and “full equality”.

Trevor and I were talking about this the other day, before the Relief Society General Conference address last week. Wondering if anyone would address all that’s going on with demanding “equality” in the LDS Church.

The whole conference was amazing. And then the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Thomas S. Monson, got up, and I felt the spirit encompass me in a way I haven’t felt often while simply watching a conference address. Sitting there in my local chapel, I felt overwhelmingly that this was the prophet of God, and that what he was going to tell me was true. He hadn’t even begun speaking yet – it was as soon as he stood, that the spirit touched me.

I talked to a friend about this, and she was actually there in the conference center for the session. She said as soon as President Monson stood up, the whole congregation just went silent and the same spirit flooded them as it did me and all the women gathered there in the small chapel in Cottonwood Heights.

Instead of taking the stance of “reprimanding” or however else the topic could have been addressed, President Monson just told us how amazing we are, as women.  How needed we are, and how much good we do.  The good we do is different in Relief Society as the good men do in Elders Quorum. One isn’t better than the other – just different.

As Trevor and I were talking about this, women wanting the Priesthood and believing that was equality, we jokingly started an argument.

I demanded the priesthood!

He demanded to have a baby (as in, pregnancy, carry, deliver)!

I WANTED THE PRIESTHOOD!

HE WANTS TO HAVE A BABY!!!

We both yelled what we wanted and “argued” and laughed.

I don’t really want the priesthood.

He doesn’t really want to have a baby.

His role is to be the priesthood holder in our home.

My role is to conceive, carry and give birth to babies.

Neither one of these is better than the other. They are both important. They will demand different actions and priorities from us. We will both do much good in our families and in the world.

He can’t fulfill his role without me, I can’t without him.

We’re equal. We are different, but equal.

When I was about 8, the then Prophet, Gordon B. Hinckley and his wife, Marjory Hinckley came to speak to us at a huge conference in Alaska. I can vividly remember every detail – from the hundreds of people driving from all over the state and sleeping in the members’ in Anchorage’s homes, to the huge building we all gathered in to hear the Lord’s messenger speak.

I can remember sitting there in the huge congregation, higher up in the level seating. Afterwards as we were exiting, I shook the Prophet’s hand.  And his wife, one of the most amazing women of all time, told me that she’d been watching me, and I was one of the best behaved little girls she’d ever seen. Out of all the hundreds (or even thousands) of little girls there, she noticed me. I wasn’t even sitting close to the stage.

The other thing that I remember from that conference is what my father told me President Hinckley said in the adult session of the conference. I’m not sure why of all the things growing up, this one comment my father told me has never left me, but it hasn't.

President Hinckley told the group that in the last days, one of the biggest issues in the LDS church would be women demanding the priesthood.

He said that almost 20 years ago.

 And here I am, 20 years later, with friends wearing pants to church to make a statement about “equality”.

God made us different. He made our roles different.

I can’t wait to be a mother – Trevor is an amazing priesthood holder.

I don’t want the priesthood and he doesn’t want to have a baby. But I get to sustain and support Trevor as he uses his priesthood righteously, and he gets to be the father of the children I bare. Together, we have the whole package and the power to create life, to be an eternal family. Apart – neither of our gifts can fulfill their true potential.

Love,

 Brittney"

And here is a video I came across by our beloved Sheri Dew entitled "What do LDS women get?"